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there are no words to explain the irreversable damage that the movie "Inkheart" has done to my faith in hollywood and in the movie industry in general.
a little background:
inkheart is my favorite book SERIES. i emphasise the word SERIES because one of the major flaws of this pile of shit is that it WRAPS UP THE FREAKING MOVIE TO THE POINT WHERE A SEQUEL IS NO LONGER POSSIBLE. (please excuse the use of CAPS-LOCK in the previous sentance. i hate it as much as anyone else, but only CAPS-LOCK can express the intense hatred i feel right now.) As of right now, i am reading the third installation and am thouroughly enjoying it. it is fill with exactly the right amount of fantasy adventure, gritty violence, and plot twists to hold my attention from cover to cover until i realise that it is 3 am and i have been reading for two days straight without food. *exaggeration, but you get the point*
here's where it hits the fan-
YOU CASTED BRENDAN FRAISER YOU DUMBASSES!!!
what movie has he been in that was genuinely good or better because of his acting?? i'll tell you: NONE, ZERO, ZIP! and dont give me any of that mummy shit because he sucked asshole in that too! which brings up another interesting point: why? why do you hire these big shot hollywood jackoffs when you could give other aspiring actors a chance?? everyone knows brendan fraiser sucks so cast someone who actually has some talent!!!
FOLLOW THE DAMN BOOK!
is it that hard for you to keep with the book? you dont even need a freaking script, its right in front of you!!! i brought my friend to this travesty with me. he has never read any of the books, but knew that i was an avid fan, so while watching the movie he had this to say to me, "hey, whats in that pouch?""can Farid actually learn dustfinger's fire stuff""why didn't that guy dissapear".
i ignored his questions because i figured that it would be explained later in the film. it wasn't, go figure. since i had actually read the books i figured i had the upper hand since i knew somewhat the events that were supposed to be taking place. i was very, very wrong. WHY WOULD YOU HINT DETAILS OF THE SECOND BOOK WHEN YOU CUT THE MOVIE SHORT AT THE END OF THE FIRST BOOK? it doesnt make sense! "im going to make a character based on you, a theif who steals just as a bluejay steals shiny objects."...
what does that even matter?! the bluejay shit isnt even relevent until Inkspell!!! Inkspell as in, the movie that wont be appearing because they completely slit its throat with the weapon that is the camera.
what is the point of even having the origional book... or title for that matter? i have an idea for a new title:
"Brendan Fraiser is a Douche... with some Inkheart in it." and maybe, "Nah, we lied. there is no Inkheart in this movie, sorry." in pretty little subtext nearby.
IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FOLLOW THE BOOK, AT LEAST MAKE IT EXCITING!
the inkheart movie was drab and dull, an unfortunate casualty to the madness of movie-making. hmm... "movie-making", eh? they should just call it, "book-dicking". lets take a look at some of the previous "movie-books".
-Harry Potter
-The Lord of the Rings
-Twilight
now ask yourself these questions:
Q: Did you like the movie?
A: "no"
Q: Why didn't you like the movie?
A: "it didn't follow the book"
Q: Would people who haven't read the book like it?
A: "yea, i guess..."
why do you suppose that is? because although it didnt follow the origional storyline the movie still had two key features that Inkheart severely lacked. 1) it didn't follow the book, but still had a descent storyline. 2) it had amazing filmography seamlessly merged with computerized special effects.
my friend, who was unfortunaly my movie buddy tonight, was shocked at the lack of... anything. no story, no visuals... well, i shouldnt say that, Inkheart did have a few good looking scenes. BUT THEY DIDN'T USE WHAT THEY HAD. this story is amazing. there were so many points in the book that could've been really, REALLY good in a visual sense.
but they botched it, what can you say...
im starting to run out of steam here. all i have left to say is this:
i am very dissapointed. i hate (eh...dislike his acting. i mean, i've never even met the guy you know.) Brendan Fraiser, i hate whoever directed this film, and i wish there were things that could be unseen... because this would be one of those things... it could've worked man, it could've worked.
one last thing:
i apologise for all of the swearing involved in this journal, however it is the only way to properly express my feelings toward this abomination.
eh... at least i still have the books...
- Mood:
Delighted - Listening to: heater
- Reading: my extremely pissed of journal entry.
- Watching: Inkheart... *sigh*
- Playing: Perfect World
- Eating: Popcorn fragments
- Drinking: Bottled Shoop da Whoop